Let’s get this real talk going….
One of my biggest struggles – “People pleasing” in the sense of thinking people expect me to be a certain way. Can anyone relate??
When I was younger, I knew I was meant to do big things. I used to play with my Barbies pretending I was a big shot CEO, I was strong, independent, driven, and focused. I remember sitting on my floor with my brunette Barbie in hand that I played as myself, not as a third person. I wanted to act out my life… and what it would be like. I couldn’t wait to be in my 20’s. Fast forward 20 years, here I am… in my 20’s. Where did that driven CEO go? I ask myself that question often.
When your a child you think money grows on trees and you are invisible. I love that! I love that feeling of doing whatever your heart pulls you to do when you want to do. As you age, you begin taking influences from society, parents or even teachers. You morph yourself into what you think you should but not what you truly are. How do you know you people pleasing? …. it’s not passion or heart filled. Your life is full of moments you feel obligated to do, not moments you WANT to do – that is this type of people pleasing.
This is my story…
If you read my Who Am I post you know I’m a lot of things people don’t know… spiritual, creative, a closet hippy, crystal lover, and passion career seeker. Those things are what I feel I can’t share with people. Like we’re talking my closets friends, co-workers and parts of my family even. I feel they wont understand. They will think I’m weird, or its some voodoo crap.
A huge lesson I know to be true, what negative comments you think people will say if you post something you truly love, will happen. Their a mirror of your insecurities. For example: last night I posted a photo on instagram of tea, laughing buddha and crystals. I immediately had a response from someone close to me that has no idea i love those things because I never felt confident to tell them. I knew before posting the photo that said person would comment. Sure enough they did, and said something that I expected. See.. a mirror!
Why do we think we are people pleasing? As we grow as humans our passions and likes change. Some people realize this when they leave high school, those people you were close with in high school could feel aeons apart from where you are now. Those you once had things in common with no longer ignite your soul. We grow, we adapt, we move at different paces. Why are we so scared to show our true colours? If people don’t like it or get it, then that’s fine. Being true to ourselves is truly loving thy self. This goes for me too… truly loving ME whole heartedly is something I work on day to day. It’s an on going process and there is no shame in that. So if you’re in the same boat as I am and feel people wont get your passions no matter what they are… heck, they could be spiders! Even though it may freak some people out, there will be others out there who love spiders as much as you do, or those that it freaks out (in a sense) will respect you for being YOU. If they don’t, who cares! You don’t need their approval. You only need your own.
Stepping into your true you will bring you meaningful relationships and opportunities you didn’t know existed. It opens doors. Just because your immediate circle doesn’t understand, that doesn’t mean the entire world wont. There are millions of people that love what you love. So share it!
I hope this helps shed some light if you are struggling with being your authentic self. I know its hard to break away from people pleasing, but dip your toe in the water, its not that cold! You can do it! Step out of your comfort zone and realize its not as scary as you thought. Open the doors peeps… I’m doing it more than ever now, and I can attest that it changes your life.